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My First Memory

 My very first memory that isn’t a learned memory is of my grandmother’s (Lucille) father.  I had to be less than 3 years old.  He, Frank Price, was a carpenter.  He made the most wonderful furniture.  My grandmother, mother, and many other family members still have the pieces that he made.  He had this workshop behind his house in Sanford.  My first memory takes place in that workshop.  The kids always wanted to be with him and explore that workshop.  I know that we weren’t really allowed to be in the workshop.  Once he did take my sister and I into the workshop.  There was a welcome mat of some kind right inside the door.  He told us to stand on that mat and not to move.   A few years ago we were talking about first memories and I mentioned this memory because for the longest time my first memory was of his funeral when I was three.  I remember being in the church and seeing him in the coffin and my Aunt Donna taking care of me and my cousin Brandon. But this other memory is of him a
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White as Snow…Again!?

 Oy! My post “White as Snow” from 2014 was powerful and real and somehow…I lost it.  How is it that 8 years later I still sit here feeling a lot of what I felt then? Is it because I picked it up again? The debt of sin that I had forgiven myself for? Yep. I think that’s it.  I really want to try. My faith was such a large part of who I was for 30+ years of my life but somehow I can’t let that forgiveness stick. Anytime I feel myself getting closer to my faith I feel the guilt and the Devil start in on me again.  I have done this all my life with Larry and forgiving him and picking it back up again. Now I have just replaced the abandonment I had with his role in my life with the guilt of my divorce and choices I have made in my life. I know I’d make them again because I wouldn’t have Micah and Liberty without them. And those children are more than worth every ounce of guilt and pain I have endured.  As I am writing this I realize that in March of 2014 my life was in total chaos. Just a f
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Clay Jensen

Oh how I wish I had a Clay Jensen.  I thought at one time in my life that I had found my Clay but that person ended up being just like everyone else.  I wonder if there really are people like Clay.  Are there people who love unconditionally, even when they hate you, how Clay loves Justin? Are there people in the world that would fight the injustices against you when you can't fight them for yourself, the way Clay fights for Hannah?  Are there people in the world that challenge you to fight for yourself when your terrified to do it, the way Clay challenged Jessica?  Are there people who with continue to encourage you when you've got nothing left, they way Clay encourages Zach, Tony, and the others?  Are there people who would stop you from causing harm, relate to you at your lowest, be so openly, emotionally raw, and try to save you, the way Clay stops Tyler?  I want to hope that there are but to be honest I just don't think that there are.  Or maybe there are those types of
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Good Food

Why is it so hard to find good food to eat?  Being on a diet and working a job where I am in my car most of the days, it is hard to eat healthy.  Even a hamburger without the bun is okay but honestly, that is no fun. I am learning and I am adjusting.  Today, for example,  I had a chicken philly with no bread and grilled veggies.  It wasn't bad and I am full. On a positive note: I am down 7 pounds!! Whatever I am doing it seems to be working.
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My Honest Weight-Loss Journey

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I’m being honest. Not going to sugarcoat or edit. I’m getting big.  When I went to the doctor and 190 was on the scale I was like 🤮😳. How did I get here??? On July 2, 2018, I started this journey. 2 days in I’m meeting my eating goals, exercise goals, and my water intake goals. However, it’s only been two days. Today scares me and I’m a little on edge. How do I not enjoy cold Cokes and sweet treats? How do I avoid the coconut rum and pineapple juice? Do I let this be a cheat day? I have another family event on Saturday. Do I let that be the cheat day?? How do I make this work? I’m using a little pharmaceutical help just because my doctor is worried about a few things and wants to help me get that kickstart. Wish me luck. #dosomething
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Writing...

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I love to write.  It is good to get the thoughts out.  I have always loved to write but my problem is I lack all direction in my writing.  I have tried many ways.  Writing for myself, writing on 30 day challenges, writing in a journal, making bullet journals, and still I have no direction.  Now, I am not saying that I am J. K Rowling but there is a story locked in my head that I haven’t been able to release.  I don’t know if the story is my story or if it is a fictional story...I just know that there is a story. All of the things that I have read say to just start writing.  Just put your thoughts out there.  Just write, write, write.  I am going to try to write more.  I guess I use the blog.  I have a new iPad and a Bluetooth keyboard so why not? Lakeside Lunch As she sat at the table she thought of her 5 senses and the way she had learned to manage her anxiety.  5...4...3...2...1... you are supposed to use your five senses to center or ground yourself.  She an never reme
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What if...

What if...when we are offended or hurt by the behavior of someone else we confront that person about the behavior? What if we didn't base our opinions of a person, their family, their religion, their sex, their race, their community, their city, their state, their country, their whatever based on a behavior? What if instead of hating people we talked to people about the behavior we disliked and came to a resolution, a compromise, or an agreement to simply agree to disagree? What if instead of judging others we looked at ourselves and realized not everyone has to think like we do or act like we do to be a good person? What if we realized that we all have faults and sins? What if we loved for our differences the same way we love for our similarities? What if... John 13:34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." Matthew 7:1-5 7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you wi
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