Okay so yes it is 3:20am and I can't fall back asleep so I figured I would download a new app that will let me post to my blog easily from my iPhone. This is a test to see if it works. I repeat: this is only a test.
Oh how I wish I had a Clay Jensen. I thought at one time in my life that I had found my Clay but that person ended up being just like everyone else. I wonder if there really are people like Clay. Are there people who love unconditionally, even when they hate you, how Clay loves Justin? Are there people in the world that would fight the injustices against you when you can't fight them for yourself, the way Clay fights for Hannah? Are there people in the world that challenge you to fight for yourself when your terrified to do it, the way Clay challenged Jessica? Are there people who with continue to encourage you when you've got nothing left, they way Clay encourages Zach, Tony, and the others? Are there people who would stop you from causing harm, relate to you at your lowest, be so openly, emotionally raw, and try to save you, the way Clay stops Tyler? I want to hope that there are but to be honest I just don't think that there are. Or may...
Well it has been quite while since I blogged. I feel like my entire life has fallen apart but that there are amazing strings that are holding it together. I left Joe in May. May 27, 2013, I told him that I wanted a divorce. I finally decided that enough was enough and that the hope of love wasn't enough to keep my marriage together. I couldn't stay for the kids because what would that be teaching them. I started dating a man that I have cared from since my youth. He is great and treats me wonderfully. It is a new thing for me to be loved the way that he does. I have had the most honest conversations with him. It is refreshing to be able to be 100% me. My grandfather died on August 15, 2013. It was so hard to breathe that day. I knew the day was coming, I thought that I was ready. I wasn't ready, are we ever ready. His service was beautiful and my grandmother is moving forward day by day. m...
Sometimes I wonder if I am doing enough? Do I do enough for you? For God? For my family? For me? The balance of doing enough for everyone is exhausting. Then there are times when you know that you are the difference you want to see in the world. That feeling is AMAZING.
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