9-11 remember it or forget it??

Someone I follow on twitter posted this blog. I posted their blog and then my response.

Schism Sunday XVI: The Art of Memorializing Tragedy

I know today is not Sunday, and there is a reason for that. There are things I like to let pass before I open up a can worms. But today is Monday, and I am opening the can up!

If I had lost a loved one tragically 10 years ago and I was still actively mourning and commemorating his or her day of death with emotional displays and expensive rituals most people would either be annoyed with my inability to move on or concerned about me. People would urge me to move on and to heal and not to stew in grief for 10 years or more. People who cared for me would want me to find new meaning and purpose in life and would want to see me healthy and happy.

And yet as a country, the United States seems hell bent on never forgetting. Never healing. Never moving on. Our country clings to our grief and tragedy like a badge of honor. Though our physical wounds have healed we choose to limp weakly forward with phantom injuries that we can’t get our mind around, that we are unwilling to deal with. 9/11 has become a new emotionally charged vocabulary word instead of just a day on the calendar.

Is never forgetting really the best thing for this country; is it really the best thing for anyone? Is never forgetting healthy in any way?

So after the endless emotionally driven television specials have ended, after the memorials are finished and the giant flags are wrapped up and Colbie Calliat has stopped singing her inane version of the National Anthem I have some questions for you.

First, rebuilding finally began in 2011. What took so long? And is it really practical, economical, psychologically healthy to rebuild with memorials? I’ve always thought that rebuilding should have begun as soon as possible with similar structures to the twin towers with similar practical use. I thought this was the most healthy thing to do, the best way to heal, the best way to “beat” the terrorists. What are you thoughts on this?

Secondly, don’t all these memorials and edifices and TV specials seem a little bit like idolatry to you? They do to me. What exactly are we worshiping here? Lives lost? A corrupt but democratic government? An ideology that we are the best country and even bombing us can’t bring us down? It seems to me the United States is worshiping and promoting the same thing she’s always adored. Top dollar. All these promotions are making someone money. Emotionally driven marketing has proven to be very effective indeed. No other religion was even allowed at the memorial (only the church of Top Dollar and Politics). As Christians, shouldn’t our focus be more on prayer, on growing closer to Christ, and doing God’s will in this broken world? Instead of prolonging everyone’s suffering?

I have to say it, and I’m sure you won’t like it. But the USA lost less than 3000 people that day. Countries around the world have suffered and are suffering greater losses without all the pomp and circumstance, without the self centered broadcasting of their pain. Perhaps we should take a note from some of these countries. Those that lost friends and family are the one’s who’s lives changed that day, but someone like me, really wasn’t affected (accept for when I travel). There is no televised memorial for the almost 1 million lost in Rwanda only 17 years ago; little continues to be done to prevent the loss of life in Darfur; not to mention the at least ten times more Iraqi civilians that have been killed in the war that we started to avenge 9/11. Yes, even the loss of one life is tragic, but isn’t it a little selfish to think that the loss of American lives is more tragic than any other?

So there you go, I’ve opened the can of worms. I know I’ve made some of you squirm, now it’s your turn. Comment freely.

Maybe it's time?

Virginia

I agree and I disagree.

I am family member of a firefighter who died in the line of duty in 1979. My mother was pregnant with me and the firefighter was her uncle. He lived in the home that backed up against the backyard of our house. My mother was closer to her uncle than just about anyone else in her family.

You think the tragedy ends there...it doesn't. The fire that my mom's uncle died in was a fire at the local pet supply business in a small town. That business was owned by my grandparents. The local new stations hounded my family and the whole situation was unimaginable. Not only did my family lose my uncle but it also lost the business were everyone made their living.

And still the tragedy doesn't end. For most of my life I would ask about Uncle Billy. No one would talk about it. There were no pictures of him up on the walls. No photos of the brave firefighter that died because he just knew his pregnant niece was inside. He was looking forward to meeting the "crumb-cruncher" that was due on his birthday. See for my family it was easier to just pretend it didn't happen.

My husband is now a firefighter. Last year one of his fellow firefighters died in a car accident. I stood behind him in line as he honored this firefighters family. I sat there as over 150 men burst into tears and sobs as they made his final call over the dispatch radio. I watched as they handed the flag to his fiance and his helmet to his 5 year old daughter.

That whole time I thought of the firefighter my family had lost, the one that was so close to my mom, the one that was excited I was going to be born on his birthday, the one that I will never meet on Earth.

After that funeral, I forced my mother to pull out the newspaper articles and I made my grandfather and grandmother tell me what happened that day and the days and months that followed. I made my mom take me back to that town we lived in, she took me to the house where she stood crying, watching the smoke billow from the fire that took her family's livelihood and their brave firefighter. I made her show me the lot where the build stood (that to this very day still stands empty - a scar in the middle of downtown where Lt. Price died.)

We don't need to forget what happened on 9-11 -2001. We need to talk about it, we need to heal. We need to mourn. My family is just starting to heal. They are just beginning to see that Uncle Billy died a HERO. That he died trying to save his family, That he would have done it for a stranger.

I am married to a firefighter. I love firefighters. Every 9-11, I remember Lt. William Price of the Sanford Fire Department and I now remember Firefighter John Brucker of the Villages Fire Department. Firefighters are a sentimental breed. And there is a whole nation of firefighter that lost brothers on 9-11-2001. They get fired up that there are responders from ground zero that are getting sick because of the time they spent at ground zero, don't believe me, go to your local station and ask.

My heart breaks for New York City and for all the lives that were lost that day. I think reading each name every year is a bit much. And a public memorial each year is overwhelming. We have to remember, just like we have to remember D-Day, Pearl Harbor, the civil war, the revolutionary war. 9-11-2001 is part of America's fabric. It is part of what makes us great, strong, and proud.

We remember what we lost but we also remember the bravery, the courage, and the miracles that came out of the tragedy.

31 years, for 31 years my family didn't talk about it, they all walked around it. Yesterday, 9-11-2011, my mom and her aunt had a conversation about it on my facebook page. Healing and grief happen at different times for different people and if a 9-11 memorial every year it what those survivors need to heal and to grieve then let them have it, and just don't watch, go volunteer somewhere on 9-11 and help make America stronger.

God Bless America.

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The Rants and Thoughts of VALadyNole