The Rants and Thoughts of VALadyNole

Today I sat down to have lunch with fellow professionals. 5 women and 1 man. We all work in the child protective services. We were enjoying ourselves talking and getting to know each other a little better. One of these professionals says that she was born in New York. The one man at the table asks her exactly where and she said Manhattan. He tells her that he is from Brooklyn. Once this is said we all know what the next question is going to be...here are their stories. The guy from Brooklyn said he was at work and was sent home after the second tower was struck. He said the entire ride home the thing that stuck out to him the most was the deafening silence. In a city where it is never quiet he couldn't hear a bus, the subway, sirens, or voices. He said that as he drove people waved at him. "In NY if you look at someone too long it starts a fight and now people are waving at me." When he got home he went to the roof of his building where he watched the twin towers crumble...

Someone I follow on twitter posted this blog.  I posted their blog and then my response.   Schism Sunday XVI:  The Art of Memorializing             Tragedy I know today is not Sunday, and there is a reason for that. There are things I like to let pass before I open up a can worms. But today is Monday, and I am opening the can up! If I had lost a loved one tragically 10 years ago and I was still actively mourning and commemorating his or her day of death with emotional displays and expensive rituals most people would either be annoyed with my inability to move on or concerned about me. People would urge me to move on and to heal and not to stew in grief for 10 years or more. People who cared for me would want me to find new meaning and purpose in life and would want to see me healthy and happy. And yet as a country, the United States seems hell bent on never forgetting. Never healing. Never moving on. Our co...

In 2009, I thought my world was crashing in around me.  I was working as a teacher for a person that I could not see eye to eye with.  There was nothing I could do to make her appreciate the me that is me.  She (in my opinion) was a bully and not a sufficient leader.  I decided that instead of trying to please a person that wanted an unattainable perfection that I would quit teaching.  That was November 2009. At that time I felt depressed and worthless.  I was a teacher, I was trained to be a teacher, I had my BS in education, and a teaching certificate but I felt so wounded.  I didn't want to teach but what else could I do.  I substituted for the remainder of the school year and I enjoyed myself.  However, you can't support a family being a substitute teacher and it wasn't fair for Joe to be working so much.  I am so blessed that my husband supported me 1000%. I was lost.  I didn't know where to turn or what to do.  What h...

Ah!!! We are moved.  We are getting everything unpacked and I feel much accomplished...until I walk into the garage and see what tasks still lay before me.  But I am happy to be in a bigger place.  :-)

I have been in such a funk.  I am really struggling with the judging people thing.  I have to stop my self from spewing my opinions on people.  You know, how I think they can be doing it better.  This is hard for me because it is in my DNA to be judgemental and I have to fight that urge.  It really isn't even with strangers, it's with people I know and love.  I have to heed the youth pastors advice.  He says unsolicited advice is criticism, but if someone asks you can let them have it.  Okay...so I am going to continue to bite my tongue.

Why do most Gator fans always feel the need to rain on everyone else's parade?  (Note I said MOST!)  Seriously.  It gets a little old.  We get it you had a great run. Most schools do have a great run somewhere in their history.  Wow!!! I will celebrate my teams victories even if you did it first.  Get over yourselves. Believe me everyone knows at least one Gator fan who just doesn't get that you like the Seminoles (or whatever other team) and is always trying to convince you that you are stupid because of this. Plus, the only way to right your stupidity is to become a Gator fan.  I think not.  ERGH! I LOVE MY SEMINOLES!!  Don't ever forget that!!

I am so excited about moving into the new place.  I know that I need to get to packing.  But I have got so many ideas.  I am totally going to creative in Libby's and Micah's rooms.  I just can't wait. The biggest thing I am excited about it I am going to have an ART wall.  My kids are so creative.  I want to be able to make their art the focus.  Anyways...just a thought.

My mom is amazing.  She has always been there for me.  She has always supported me.  She is amazing. My bio-dad is still part of my life but he left me when I was young. He was never around when I was growing up. He called minutes before my wedding to tell me he wasn't coming. He wasn't there when I graduated from UCF. He didn't meet my children until they were 5 and 2. He left me feeling inadequate and when he said I love you it was empty. For most of my life I have HATED Father's Day. My stepdadv(Skinny Chuck) is amazing. He is proud of me. He challenges me. He was there when I was married, he was there when I graduated, he was there when my children were born. He didn't become stepdad until I was 19. Now that I'm 31, when he says I love you, it is filled with so much emotion for me. I might not share his DNA but I thank God every single day for my stepdad. He is the reason I no longer hate Father's Day.

...and lovin' what you do.  I totally feel that way about my job.  Crazy I know.  I used to think that there was nothing more fun or rewarding than teaching.  I was very wrong.  I love what I am doing now.  I love empowering domestic violence victims. That is all.

Okay first of all I am not proud that I am caught up in this crazy trial.  That being said I find it quite interesting. Do I think she did it?  Yeah, sad to say I do.  I think she was using chloroform as a nanny and that she over did it.  I think that in a panic, when she could not reach her parents for help that she put that baby girl in her trunk.  In disbelief of what happened she decided after watching the movies she did that her best bet was to fake a kidnapping.  She then duct taped her little girl's nose and mouth, put her in several garbage bags and attempted to bury her.  When she could stomach the fact her dead little girl would be buried in her backyard (a constant reminder of what she did) she dumped that precious child in the woods near her home. I think that doing all that made her crazy.  But she was lying long before that little girl was born.  I am so sad for that baby girl and as I watch my own daughter grow up I can't h...

I cry tears of sorrow for the families that lost so much in the tornados that have devastated Alabama. I cry for the pastor of my aunt's church who lost six family members that consist of three couples. I mourn for the 19 year old girl in nursing school who now has to bury her mother and father. The loss of possessions only scratches the surface of the grief. My heart breaks for them. Then I feel guilty as tears of joy leak from eyes because the lives of all the family and friends I have in Alabama were saved. They are fine and I can breathe a sigh of relief that I don't have any funerals to attend. I can't put into words how thankful I am to God, that my family is there helping their friends and neighbors pick up the pieces. They are there being God's hands and feet. I am amazed. I thank God for protecting them and pray he gives them the strength and the words to say. I thank God for the blessings in my life. I pray also for the rest of Alabama and the South effected b...

Someone I would switch lives with for a day and why. I really wouldn't want to switch lives with anyone. I like my life, it has its ups and downs but at the end of the day it is mine. That being said... I would want to switch lives with one of those people who are super duper rich. Then I would want to help out all my favorite charities so that they can do God's work without having to worry about where the funds to support themselves will come from. I'd spread that wealth around. Just sayin'.

What was the last movie I saw? Write about it. The last movie I saw was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Write about it, oh there is just too much to say. The last scene left me absolutely on the edge of my seat ready for Part 2. I laughed, I cried, I was scared, I just love this film. And it was the second time I have seen it. It is the best by far. My favorite scenes are when Harry and Ginny kiss...Moooorrrnnning! Love it! When Ron faces his worst fears and doubts! Priceless. When Harry and Hermione dance. So sweet. (Have that song on my iPod.) The emotion in the loss of characters is just right on to the feelings I felt as I read those pages in the book with tear-filled eyes. The seven Harry's scene is just cinema gold! Wow!!! The casting of Harry Potter is just amazing. Each character just pops right out of the book on to the film. As you watch you can hear J.K. Rowling's words as she writes their thoughts. It is just a beautiful thing. I want that last ...

Top Ten Pet Peeves... 10. Leaving the toilet seat up. 9. When someone pulls out in front of me when NO ONE is behind me 8. When wait staff doesn't refill my drink. Fastest way to lose your tip. 7. Having more than the specified number of items in the quick checkout lanes. 6. Going for food in the cabinet and finding only crumbs in the package. 5. People who don't say thank you when you do them a favor. 4. When someone thinks their opinion is the only option without educating themselves on the whole issue. 3. FCAT 2. When someone gets up before me and wakes up the entire house, turns on all the lights, and turns on the TV. Then leaves and leaves it all on.  1. Being a Gator Fan. (However this pet peeve can be overlooked if I love you enough!)

My Favorite Song and why.  My favorite song right now would have to be No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts No Matter What on YouTube I’m running back to your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I, keep asking why, I keep asking why, No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what. When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength, No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that ...

My best friend. I first met my best friend in the third grade.  I thought that she was snobby and rude.  She thought I was mean and unfriendly.  We held these initial thoughts of each other through 5 years.  We shared friends, went to the same birthday parties, well we did a lot of stuff together.  Then our freshman year of high school we were in band together.  Both playing the flute and kinda being forced to interact with one another we had no choice but to finally get to know each other.  What I learned was that she wasn't snobby and rude, but shy and reserved.  What she learned about me was that I wasn't mean and unfriendly, but out-going and opinionated.  She grounded me and helped me find my filter and I supported her and helped her find her assertive side.  We have been best friends for 16 years.  Offically we have been friends for more than half our lives.  I still need her and I pray that she will still need me....

Sometimes I wonder if I am doing enough? Do I do enough for you? For God? For my family? For me? The balance of doing enough for everyone is exhausting. Then there are times when you know that you are the difference you want to see in the world. That feeling is AMAZING.

Somedays, I just feel like, "Pssh, forget you." I feel that way today and quite honestly I have no idea why. Oh the well...Life is Good!

Wow! How many times do we do just that? We put all our eggs in one basket. Not just bad baskets but good baskets too. We get inside our own little worlds and think that anyone who doesn't look like me, think like me, worship like me, love like me, cheer for the same things as me, dislike the same things as me are just wrong and different and worthy of none of my time and effort. You know that is the truth. Just tonight I am sitting at the Magic game and the guy behind me says that Dwight Howard is overrated. Later he says the Noles got lucky this season and my blood gets to boiling. I turn around and he has a UCF hat on. Is that what saved him from getting a piece of my mind? Dunno. What would give me the right anyways because my eggs are in the Magic and Seminole's baskets? Sometimes we think when we are changing our lives, taking our eggs out of the unhealthy, unproductive baskets in our lives, that we need to start removing others eggs from that basket too. Not cool. Heard P...

Okay so yes it is 3:20am and I can't fall back asleep so I figured I would download a new app that will let me post to my blog easily from my iPhone. This is a test to see if it works. I repeat: this is only a test.

Okay so today was a great day. I accomplished one of my goals for 2011 and I am off to a great start this year. But for some reason I just feel a little sad. I don't know why. I know that the future is bright and even in the midst of the storm I know where my strength comes from. Maybe the release of stress associated with this test is coming off and a good cry is always cleansing to the soul. Maybe it is because this time last year I was at the end of the rope and the only thing keeping me from falling was my support system. Looking back I am a stronger person and I can't wait to get out there and do what I have been so blessed to do. It really is amazing. Either way I am so happy and so relieved. Ready for the next phase in my adventure!

What a year! At the end of 2009, my world, I really felt was crumbling around me. It was like anything that could go wrong was going wrong. As 2010 started I remember thinking, “Well, it can’t get much worse.” I started this year guarded and hopeful. I found myself for the first time in my life completely depending on God. I cast all my cares and concerns on him and I knew that he would provide.   Without having a full-time job and having to deal with everything that came with it, I found myself subbing, which I loved. It was like all the best parts of teaching without all the undue stress. In the summer I was given the opportunity to work for Dr. Jean Elder (Thank you Andrea and Pastor Yates) and that lead to my employment at Kid’s Central. I LOVE what I am doing now! I miss spending time with kids and the holidays off, but I don’t miss the “teaching” stuff.   I found myself in 2010 really focusing on what is important in my life and I know that my family and my marriage are stron...