White as Snow…Again!?
Oy! My post “White as Snow” from 2014 was powerful and real and somehow…I lost it. How is it that 8 years later I still sit here feeling a lot of what I felt then? Is it because I picked it up again? The debt of sin that I had forgiven myself for? Yep. I think that’s it. I really want to try. My faith was such a large part of who I was for 30+ years of my life but somehow I can’t let that forgiveness stick. Anytime I feel myself getting closer to my faith I feel the guilt and the Devil start in on me again. I have done this all my life with Larry and forgiving him and picking it back up again. Now I have just replaced the abandonment I had with his role in my life with the guilt of my divorce and choices I have made in my life. I know I’d make them again because I wouldn’t have Micah and Liberty without them. And those children are more than worth every ounce of guilt and pain I have endured. As I am writing this I realize that in March of 2014 my life was in total chaos. Just a f