The Rants and Thoughts of VALadyNole

Oh how I wish I had a Clay Jensen.  I thought at one time in my life that I had found my Clay but that person ended up being just like everyone else.  I wonder if there really are people like Clay.  Are there people who love unconditionally, even when they hate you, how Clay loves Justin? Are there people in the world that would fight the injustices against you when you can't fight them for yourself, the way Clay fights for Hannah?  Are there people in the world that challenge you to fight for yourself when your terrified to do it, the way Clay challenged Jessica?  Are there people who with continue to encourage you when you've got nothing left, they way Clay encourages Zach, Tony, and the others?  Are there people who would stop you from causing harm, relate to you at your lowest, be so openly, emotionally raw, and try to save you, the way Clay stops Tyler?  I want to hope that there are but to be honest I just don't think that there are.  Or maybe there are those types of

Why is it so hard to find good food to eat?  Being on a diet and working a job where I am in my car most of the days, it is hard to eat healthy.  Even a hamburger without the bun is okay but honestly, that is no fun. I am learning and I am adjusting.  Today, for example,  I had a chicken philly with no bread and grilled veggies.  It wasn't bad and I am full. On a positive note: I am down 7 pounds!! Whatever I am doing it seems to be working.

I’m being honest. Not going to sugarcoat or edit. I’m getting big.  When I went to the doctor and 190 was on the scale I was like 🤮😳. How did I get here??? On July 2, 2018, I started this journey. 2 days in I’m meeting my eating goals, exercise goals, and my water intake goals. However, it’s only been two days. Today scares me and I’m a little on edge. How do I not enjoy cold Cokes and sweet treats? How do I avoid the coconut rum and pineapple juice? Do I let this be a cheat day? I have another family event on Saturday. Do I let that be the cheat day?? How do I make this work? I’m using a little pharmaceutical help just because my doctor is worried about a few things and wants to help me get that kickstart. Wish me luck. #dosomething

I love to write.  It is good to get the thoughts out.  I have always loved to write but my problem is I lack all direction in my writing.  I have tried many ways.  Writing for myself, writing on 30 day challenges, writing in a journal, making bullet journals, and still I have no direction.  Now, I am not saying that I am J. K Rowling but there is a story locked in my head that I haven’t been able to release.  I don’t know if the story is my story or if it is a fictional story...I just know that there is a story. All of the things that I have read say to just start writing.  Just put your thoughts out there.  Just write, write, write.  I am going to try to write more.  I guess I use the blog.  I have a new iPad and a Bluetooth keyboard so why not? Lakeside Lunch As she sat at the table she thought of her 5 senses and the way she had learned to manage her anxiety.  5...4...3...2...1... you are supposed to use your five senses to center or ground yourself.  She an never reme