Seeing God's Plan Unfold
Not too long ago I was a Christian who believed in faith. I believed in a God who preformed miracles and did amazing things. I lived my life in semi-comatose state of Christianity. Just existing, praying to God in a voice of desperation. Thinking that the way I was living was the way that Christians lived. That you studied the word, went to church, did your serving and that all the reward would be given to you in the form of a crown when you got to heaven and he who had the biggest crown did the best on Earth. What a farce!
I am now a Christian who has extraordinary faith. A Christian who knows that God has preformed miracles in my life and done things that could have only happen through him. I now live my life in a state of talking to God and experiencing the little (and BIG) things that he does that lets me know that He is there and that He loves me. I pray now to God who is my father and my closest friend. I live in a constant conversation with him and know that even though I stumble and fall the unconditional love and mercy He has for me is without end.
In my own life I have experienced his voice, his calling, and directing me in the ways that I should go. I have seen tough decisions and total overwhelming fear seem to turn into peace and understanding. It is has changed my life in profound ways. Micah and Libby, even as important and precious as they are to me are second.
In the lives of my family and friends I see their destinies unfolding before me. I can see where God is manifesting his will and moving in their lives and their willingness or resistance to it. It's like watching a movie unfold in slow motion. I have experienced praying for God to intercede and I have experienced His moving and placing strangers into the path that open opportunity for a success that is deeper and more powerful than anything I or anyone else could even attempt to do on our own.
Life in the past few years just feels different. I feel it when the sun shines upon my face, the touch of a majestic God who knows every hair on my head no matter what color I dye it. In the bloom of a flower I see my faith in its full beauty and grace. How from the smallest seed a redwood tree can grow. And even though my growing faith is probably now just a small pine tree, I can see it as strong and towering as my faith mentor. I can feel the Holy Ghost (yes ghost) move in my spirit. It's all different now. It is the way it should be.
I don't have to wait until I die to experience God's blessing for me, I can feel it on my skin in the Florida afternoon rain shower. Or see it in the tears of a friend who is blessed in church. I can hear it in the laughter of my children and the embrace of my husband. I know that I stand united with God and UNITY is the most powerful thing.
I am not a different person. I am still Virginia, the imperfect wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am at my best totally unable to do it on my own. I am still that girl who will talk to a tree if it will listen. I still love all the things I used to. I am still just a loyal heart who follows what I believe is right to the end. I am me. I still hurt and cry and fall down. I still fail. I still battle and I still make mistakes. But what has changed it this. I know that I am God's daughter. I am under his protection, his love, and his mercy. I know that my enemy has been defeated. I can shout the VICTORY.
It is a path that has led me to change, hard changes. But an everlasting change. I feel the replacing of me with a God-centered me, a new me that is improving. I feel more freedom and joy than I ever have before. I get tingles when I think about how God has moved. The things that I saw and felt that couldn't change, I have seen change. I have observed the softening of hearts that I thought were long past being too hardened.
I have learned that the things I would see and hear other Christians doing that I thought was a show, is in the right person real and when it is real you can almost reach out and touch the splendor of God's remarkable will. How when it is His will not one person can change it, not if they are the most determined person. You can choose your path but only God gives you the steps. I found this quote quite profound.
"God never gives guidance for two steps at a time. I must take one step, and then I get light for the next. This keeps the heart in abiding dependence upon God" (C.H. Mackintosh).
I have moved on from my continuous state of babyhood Christianity and moved into really loving God, really learning His ways, and really living it out. The transformation in me has been relatively unnoticeable (because I learned the charade too well). Now, however, that the transformation is moving into a new phase it is being noticed for is genuineness. I moved from playing the part to BEING the part. Actually living what and doing what I was just pretending to before.
I find myself struggling for the words. I can't explain just how significant, how all empowering it feels to know. I mean really know that God is alive and still working on me. I don't ever want to be done doing what God has called and will call me to do. I want to shout out to the whole world how completely lifted living on God's promise feels. I can feel it bubbling inside me like Alka-Seltzer. How if for just a moment, you could feel how I feel, you would know. Know that God is the way and the truth and the life. The only source through which life any life can flow.
I just wasted so much time, so much of my life living like a Christian lemming, just going through the motions. I never want anything less than Him. I never want to live my life without being in His perfect, pleasing will. I thank him everyday for what he has given me, a husband who loves me, children who brighten the world, a family that endures, and friends who support. And a HOME (aka church) that encourages me to love God, learn (grow in) His ways, and go out there and LIVE IT OUT, loud and proud.
In Christ,
Virginia
I am now a Christian who has extraordinary faith. A Christian who knows that God has preformed miracles in my life and done things that could have only happen through him. I now live my life in a state of talking to God and experiencing the little (and BIG) things that he does that lets me know that He is there and that He loves me. I pray now to God who is my father and my closest friend. I live in a constant conversation with him and know that even though I stumble and fall the unconditional love and mercy He has for me is without end.
In my own life I have experienced his voice, his calling, and directing me in the ways that I should go. I have seen tough decisions and total overwhelming fear seem to turn into peace and understanding. It is has changed my life in profound ways. Micah and Libby, even as important and precious as they are to me are second.
In the lives of my family and friends I see their destinies unfolding before me. I can see where God is manifesting his will and moving in their lives and their willingness or resistance to it. It's like watching a movie unfold in slow motion. I have experienced praying for God to intercede and I have experienced His moving and placing strangers into the path that open opportunity for a success that is deeper and more powerful than anything I or anyone else could even attempt to do on our own.
Life in the past few years just feels different. I feel it when the sun shines upon my face, the touch of a majestic God who knows every hair on my head no matter what color I dye it. In the bloom of a flower I see my faith in its full beauty and grace. How from the smallest seed a redwood tree can grow. And even though my growing faith is probably now just a small pine tree, I can see it as strong and towering as my faith mentor. I can feel the Holy Ghost (yes ghost) move in my spirit. It's all different now. It is the way it should be.
I don't have to wait until I die to experience God's blessing for me, I can feel it on my skin in the Florida afternoon rain shower. Or see it in the tears of a friend who is blessed in church. I can hear it in the laughter of my children and the embrace of my husband. I know that I stand united with God and UNITY is the most powerful thing.
I am not a different person. I am still Virginia, the imperfect wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am at my best totally unable to do it on my own. I am still that girl who will talk to a tree if it will listen. I still love all the things I used to. I am still just a loyal heart who follows what I believe is right to the end. I am me. I still hurt and cry and fall down. I still fail. I still battle and I still make mistakes. But what has changed it this. I know that I am God's daughter. I am under his protection, his love, and his mercy. I know that my enemy has been defeated. I can shout the VICTORY.
It is a path that has led me to change, hard changes. But an everlasting change. I feel the replacing of me with a God-centered me, a new me that is improving. I feel more freedom and joy than I ever have before. I get tingles when I think about how God has moved. The things that I saw and felt that couldn't change, I have seen change. I have observed the softening of hearts that I thought were long past being too hardened.
I have learned that the things I would see and hear other Christians doing that I thought was a show, is in the right person real and when it is real you can almost reach out and touch the splendor of God's remarkable will. How when it is His will not one person can change it, not if they are the most determined person. You can choose your path but only God gives you the steps. I found this quote quite profound.
"God never gives guidance for two steps at a time. I must take one step, and then I get light for the next. This keeps the heart in abiding dependence upon God" (C.H. Mackintosh).
I have moved on from my continuous state of babyhood Christianity and moved into really loving God, really learning His ways, and really living it out. The transformation in me has been relatively unnoticeable (because I learned the charade too well). Now, however, that the transformation is moving into a new phase it is being noticed for is genuineness. I moved from playing the part to BEING the part. Actually living what and doing what I was just pretending to before.
I find myself struggling for the words. I can't explain just how significant, how all empowering it feels to know. I mean really know that God is alive and still working on me. I don't ever want to be done doing what God has called and will call me to do. I want to shout out to the whole world how completely lifted living on God's promise feels. I can feel it bubbling inside me like Alka-Seltzer. How if for just a moment, you could feel how I feel, you would know. Know that God is the way and the truth and the life. The only source through which life any life can flow.
I just wasted so much time, so much of my life living like a Christian lemming, just going through the motions. I never want anything less than Him. I never want to live my life without being in His perfect, pleasing will. I thank him everyday for what he has given me, a husband who loves me, children who brighten the world, a family that endures, and friends who support. And a HOME (aka church) that encourages me to love God, learn (grow in) His ways, and go out there and LIVE IT OUT, loud and proud.
In Christ,
Virginia
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